Student Voice of Denver South High School

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Dear Navi

Navi the Gator, Chief Editor

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Dear Navi,

I really really really like this girl. I swear she is the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my entire life. She is like an angel from another planet. Her hair is the color of milk chocolate, and her eyes are the color of grass in the springtime. She is in five out of my seven classes and she sits in front of me in English. I want to talk to her, but I don’t know how I could possibly approach such a magnificent lady. I’ve thought about writing her a note, but my friends told me that’s “too middle school” and I can’t possibly write her a note to confess to her my feelings, because I’m in high school now, and I have to leave such childish forms of communication in the shadows.

 

                                  Sincerely,

                                         Anxious and Amourous in the ninth grade

 

Dear Anxious,

Let’s Navi-gator your problem

So you like a girl and you don’t know how to approach her, the age old problem, I understand why you might be feeling kind of…swamped.

Hey, listen buddy, I know you think this girl is some sort of goddess right now, but let’s get one thing clear, right off the bat, she is not. She is probably just some wishy-washy little kid, just like you, so do yourself a favor and get over yourself, she isn’t special and neither are you. Soon enough her true scales will show through.

Anyway, let’s get to the meat of your problem: You like some girl, but you are a pusillanimous little child and you don’t know how to approach her. You have thought about writing her a note, but your friends tell you that idea is uncool. Let me tell you, it’s only uncool if you refer to it as a “note.” As a writer myself, I completely understand what it is like to feel like the only way you can truly, eloquently express yourself is through the means of pen and paper (I actually can not communicate through means of pen and paper, because alligators don’t have thumbs, I actually write by putting a chopstick in my mouth and slowly hitting each key on the keyboard individually, but it’s the same idea). What you need to do is write her a “letter.” Break out your colored gel pens and a nice piece of paper, maybe one of the ones that has plastic on the edge so that it doesn’t rip. Write down everything you said to me, but be less creepy, remember, she’s a regular person, just like you. Also be sure to use your best handwriting.

And if it doesn’t work, always remember that there are plenty of alligators in the swamp…except there aren’t, because alligators are an endangered species.

 

-Sincerely,

Navi the Gator

 

P.S

Check out this hot picture of me from ninth grade, I was a real heart breaker

If you want advice on a problem email me at navithenewsgator@gmail.com

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Dear Navi